{"id":600,"date":"2025-04-01T08:19:48","date_gmt":"2025-04-01T08:19:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.resolvenj.com\/blog\/?p=600"},"modified":"2025-05-21T06:21:50","modified_gmt":"2025-05-21T06:21:50","slug":"cultivating-compassion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.resolvenj.com\/blog\/cultivating-compassion\/","title":{"rendered":"Cultivating Compassion"},"content":{"rendered":"<span class=\"span-reading-time rt-reading-time\" style=\"display: block;\"><span class=\"rt-label rt-prefix\">Reading Time: <\/span> <span class=\"rt-time\"> 3<\/span> <span class=\"rt-label rt-postfix\">minutes<\/span><\/span>\n<p>Once upon a time, in American society, it was considered impolite to discuss sex, politics, or religion with others. Furthermore, the saying \u201cIf you can\u2019t say anything nice, don\u2019t say anything at all\u201d was the guiding principle during most types of conversations. However, today, it seems that discussing sex, politics, and religion, along with social justice and cultural values, happens in person, at work, and online. These discussions can lead to strained relationships with family, coworkers, and friends. When interpersonal conflict arises, it can be tempting to approach difficult conversations with defensiveness or frustration. However, cultivating compassion can transform these interactions into opportunities for understanding, connection, and growth &#8211; a skill developed through individual therapy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" src=\"https:\/\/www.resolvenj.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/technicalskills-1536x1024-1-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"Woman wearing a blue top speaking to another woman at a table, representing individual therapy.\" class=\"wp-image-628\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.resolvenj.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/technicalskills-1536x1024-1-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.resolvenj.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/technicalskills-1536x1024-1-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.resolvenj.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/technicalskills-1536x1024-1-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.resolvenj.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/technicalskills-1536x1024-1.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Compassion is defined as the \u201cfeeling of concern for others\u2019 suffering, a desire to alleviate others\u2019 suffering\u201d (Klimecki, 2019, p.311). There is encouraging evidence that the cultivation of compassion is associated with more helping behaviors, less aggression, more favorable attitudes during conflicts, and more readiness for reconciliation after conflicts (Klimecki, 2019). Compassion allows one to approach a conversation without judgment; rather a curiosity and validation of another\u2019s feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Try asking yourself, \u201cWhat might this person be feeling or experiencing that led them to hold this belief?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Ways to cultivate compassion outside of individual therapy:<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Separate the Person From the Problematic Thought or Behavior<\/strong><strong><br><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>When we can separate the person from the<strong> <\/strong>problematic thought or behavior, it opens up possibilities for<strong> <\/strong>connection and engagement through active listening (Jazaieri &amp; Rock, 2021). Active listening, an individual therapy skill, means being present and fully focused on what the speaker is saying, acknowledging their words, and responding thoughtfully. It requires setting aside one\u2019s agenda and judgments to understand another person\u2019s needs and concerns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"2\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Practice Nonjudgment<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>When engaging in difficult conversations what goes through our minds are judgments about ourselves or others which may feel good in the moment, but is likely to make the situation more divisive (Jazaieri &amp; Rock, 2021). These judgments are cognitive distortions &#8211; yes, distorted thoughts. Practicing nonjudgment outside of therapy means pausing and asking yourself, \u201cWhat is <em>actually<\/em> true in this situation?\u201d \u201cWhat is this person <em>really <\/em>saying?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"3\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Perspective Taking<\/strong><strong><br><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Perspective-taking, a core component of empathy, means considering the situation more generally from<strong> <\/strong>the other person\u2019s perspective (Jazaieri &amp; Rock, 2021). To<strong> <\/strong>practice perspective-taking, ask yourself<strong>,<\/strong> \u201cWhat might life be like for this person?,\u201d \u201cWhat are<strong> <\/strong>this person\u2019s needs in life?,\u201d and \u201cAre their needs being met or<strong> <\/strong>unmet?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"4\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Find Similarity<\/strong><strong><br><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>When in a place of curiosity, briefly consider the similarities you have with the person who exhibits thoughts or behaviors that prove difficult for you. When experiencing interpersonal challenges, it\u2019s easier to engage in \u201cothering\u201d behavior\u2014convincing ourselves that this is their behavior and that we are quite different (Jazaieri &amp; Rock, 2021). Unfortunately, when getting locked into this \u201cus\u201d vs. \u201cthem\u201d perspective, it becomes difficult to see what is true (Jazaieri &amp; Rock, 2021). Thus, finding common ground and shared goals can foster empathy and cooperation.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To have compassion for another perspective does not mean agreement with that perspective. To truly get along with someone with whom you disagree, may mean setting firm boundaries when necessary. If a conversation becomes disrespectful or abusive it is okay to disengage by simply saying, \u201cI value this conversation, but I need a pause at this time.\u201d If you struggle to maintain your calm and composure during difficult conversations, individual therapy can help you cultivate compassion for yourself and others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><strong><strong>Emily Parodi, LPC, LMHC<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><br><em>Psy. D. Doctoral Intern<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>References<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>Jazaieri, H., &amp; Rock, M. (2021). Putting compassion to work: Compassion as a tool for navigating challenging workplace relationships. <em>Mindfulness<\/em>, <em>12<\/em>(10), 2552-2558.<br>Klimecki, O. M. (2019). The role of empathy and compassion in conflict resolution. <em>Emotion Review<\/em>, <em>11<\/em>(4), 310-325.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p><span class=\"span-reading-time rt-reading-time\" style=\"display: block;\"><span class=\"rt-label rt-prefix\">Reading Time: <\/span> <span class=\"rt-time\"> 3<\/span> <span class=\"rt-label rt-postfix\">minutes<\/span><\/span>Once upon a time, in American society, it was considered impolite to discuss sex, politics, or religion with others. Furthermore, the saying \u201cIf you can\u2019t say anything nice, don\u2019t say anything at all\u201d was the guiding principle during most types&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":610,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-600","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-resolve-blog"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Cultivating compassion difficult Conversations<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Discover how to cultivate compassion in difficult conversations. Learn strategies for handling conflict with empathy and improving communication skills.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.resolvenj.com\/blog\/cultivating-compassion\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Cultivating compassion difficult Conversations\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Discover how to cultivate compassion in difficult conversations. Learn strategies for handling conflict with empathy and improving communication skills.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.resolvenj.com\/blog\/cultivating-compassion\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Resolve Community Counseling Center\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-04-01T08:19:48+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-05-21T06:21:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.resolvenj.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/unsplash-image-rCyiK4_aaWw.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1669\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.resolvenj.com\\\/blog\\\/cultivating-compassion\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.resolvenj.com\\\/blog\\\/cultivating-compassion\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.resolvenj.com\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/360f56d4b6968933dc211dcc44a1c9e3\"},\"headline\":\"Cultivating Compassion\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-04-01T08:19:48+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-05-21T06:21:50+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.resolvenj.com\\\/blog\\\/cultivating-compassion\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":623,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.resolvenj.com\\\/blog\\\/cultivating-compassion\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.resolvenj.com\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2025\\\/04\\\/unsplash-image-rCyiK4_aaWw.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Resolve Blog\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.resolvenj.com\\\/blog\\\/cultivating-compassion\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.resolvenj.com\\\/blog\\\/cultivating-compassion\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.resolvenj.com\\\/blog\\\/cultivating-compassion\\\/\",\"name\":\"Cultivating compassion difficult Conversations\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.resolvenj.com\\\/blog\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.resolvenj.com\\\/blog\\\/cultivating-compassion\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.resolvenj.com\\\/blog\\\/cultivating-compassion\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.resolvenj.com\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2025\\\/04\\\/unsplash-image-rCyiK4_aaWw.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-04-01T08:19:48+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-05-21T06:21:50+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.resolvenj.com\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/360f56d4b6968933dc211dcc44a1c9e3\"},\"description\":\"Discover how to cultivate compassion in difficult conversations. 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